How do you know???

So I asked a guy I know if his wife has changed since they got married? He didn’t answer me, probably because he didn’t want a long drown out Melissa thought process talk LOL. They say people never change. Is that true? I was married to a guy who said he wanted a family ( 2 kids, dog, house, 2 cars…) after 4 years and and our son just turning 1 he decided he wanted to go out and have fun. I think that was a change. So when you start a relationship and someone tells you they are a workaholic but they only work 40hrs and always come home on nights and weekends do you assume that that will change because they told you they are a workaholic? Or if someone says they are religious but never go to church do you assume that they will someday decide to start going to church because they told you they are religious? They say opposites attract. If that’s the case should you get married to your opposite? So often I hear we grew apart, well if you were opposites in the beginning doesn’t that mean you were always apart? I was told that people should look back at when they were dating. If you are truly honest most of the things you complain about, the other person have been doing since you started dating. So can you really complain about something they have been doing all along? So my real question is HOW DO YOU KNOW? How do you know what is real when you start dating? How do you know how to listen to what people say and not what they do? Or watch what they do and not what they say. How do you sort it all out so you don’t make the same mistakes as before?